A 38-year-old man, I’ve simply accomplished my public service internship and am receiving a month-to-month wage of almost VND5 million (US$204).
I used to be born right into a poor household in a province within the Mekong Delta area. Ever since I used to be younger, I disliked finding out, which led me to cease attending college after grade eight. Nonetheless, I returned the next yr and accomplished highschool earlier than attending a vocational college. After graduating, I did numerous guide jobs, together with working as an ironing employee and a building assistant.
On the age of 32, I made a decision to attend night courses whereas working at a building website throughout the day. I completed the night courses and received a college diploma three years later. I then managed to get an workplace job at a garment firm near dwelling, however it didn’t end up as anticipated. Regardless of my competence, my poor communication abilities led to a brief tenure on the garment firm, prompting me to use for my present public officer place.
Seeing everybody fortunately getting ready for the Tet Lunar New 12 months earlier this month made me extra conscious of my gloomy future. Not solely is my present wage inadequate to cowl a household’s dwelling bills, however incomes so little on the age of 38 additionally makes me really feel totally ineffective and incompetent. I even have a 75-year-old mom and a sick brother to care for, and my very own well being shouldn’t be so good both.
I’ve thought of quitting and discovering a better-paying job, however I dare not as a result of if I fail, it is going to be unattainable for me to start out over. My thoughts is continually torn between two choices: on one hand, I need to give up and discover a extra financially rewarding job; alternatively, I’m afraid of failing. This confusion has left me pressured, pissed off, and feeling powerless as I strategy outdated age.
Am I a horrible and incompetent man? What ought to I do with my life?