Married to a girl from the central province for greater than 17 years, Hung stated yearly his household makes the 300 km journey to his spouse’s hometown three days earlier than Tet begins.
Hung adores the Tet environment of the place, and it’s a time when his household can all collect to wrap chung cake, keep up all night time cooking, speaking, and singing till morning.
He additionally admitted that the couple not often quarrels throughout Tet as a result of for his spouse, having the ability to return house is what she wishes most, so he arranges the entire journey, most significantly all of the purchases and bills, himself, so she will simply relaxation and loosen up the entire time with out having any duties in direction of looking for journey considerations.
“I need my spouse to relaxation on such an event, when each different spouse is busy caring for Tet for her husband’s household,” Hung shared.
Hung and his spouse obtained married in 2007. The primary 12 months Bich grew to become his spouse, Hung requested his mother and father for permission to have fun New Yr’s Eve along with his spouse’s household. His mom was hesitant however lastly agreed.
“With the ability to come my mother and father’ residence to have fun New Yr’s Eve makes me respect my husband’s household extra,” Bich stated.
In Vietnam, it is a custom for households to look at Tet, the nation’s most important competition, with the husband’s mother and father. This Tet will final from Feb. 8 to 14, 2024. The normal competition will peak on Feb. 10.
 |
|
Tuan Hung, 44, from Hanoi, joins his spouse’s household in wrapping chung cake for the 2023 Tet celebrations in Nghe An province. Picture courtesy of Hung |
Married since 2018, Van Thoai, 27 years outdated and from Bac Giang nonetheless retains his pre-marriage promise that he’ll comply with his spouse to her residence to have fun Tet and never depart her by herself.
The spouse’s household has three sisters and his spouse is the youngest. The primary two sisters had been allowed to return to their household from the twenty ninth of the lunar month to the 2nd day of the lunar calendar. Step by step it grew to become a household custom, so he additionally wished his spouse to really feel omitted.
“My mom obtained married greater than 300 km away. Yearly she stays at her husband’s home to maintain all the pieces till the tip of Tet. I do not need my spouse to must undergo like that in Tet,” Thoai stated.
Thoai admitted that he was usually extra enthusiastic about going residence than his spouse as a result of his parents-in-law all the time actually cared about him and all the time waited for Thoai to return residence to deal with him to scrumptious meals. As the person of the home, he additionally needs to assist his spouse’s household clear up the home for Tet.
“To stability the 2 sides, we each agreed to spend time touring with my household on holidays in the course of the 12 months. So, when Tet comes, we are able to spend time at her place,” Thoai stated.
Tuyet Mai, 45 years outdated, an admin of a wedding dialogue discussion board with greater than 400,000 members, stated that yearly close to Tet, there are a lot of posts from girls confiding about celebrating Tet, both with their mother and father or away from residence.
For the reason that starting of January, the group has obtained dozens of articles on this matter. Some confided that their husbands agreed to allow them to return to their mother and father, however had been later scrutinized by their parents-in-law both by phrases or refined disagreements.
A VnExpress survey of almost 1,000 readers confirmed that 77% consider households ought to divide the time to have fun Tet equally between each households, whereas 21% help celebrating Tet with the spouse’s mother and father if all the pieces has been organized prematurely.
There are at the moment no official statistics on the matter, however based on marriage and household psychologist Le Thi Minh Hoa (Sunny Care Psychological Institute, Ho Chi Minh Metropolis), going residence to have fun Tet with mother and father on the spouse’s aspect is turning into extra widespread amongst younger {couples}. They’re extra open-minded, girls are additionally assured and clearly categorical their views earlier than getting married in order that they will have equality after they return to their husbands’ homes.
“Many ladies right this moment are additionally economically unbiased, which makes it simpler for them to debate with their husbands’ households in calculating journey prices throughout Tet and taking excellent care of each households,” Hoa stated.
Nonetheless, consultants additionally consider that households ought to divide their Tet holidays alternately, with one 12 months spent on the husband’s and one other 12 months on the spouse’s. For households who don’t dwell with their husband’s household, they will contemplate which aspect is nearer and extra handy to journey to, and have fun Tet collectively there.
Based on Dr. Nguyen Thanh Nga, lecturer on the Academy of Journalism and Communication, returning to their wives’ households to have fun Tet is a progressive view for husbands. It’s a constructive signal for gender equality, partly proving that such husbands respect and love their wives and care about their parents-in-law.
Nonetheless, based on consultants, solely maternal and paternal households which are residing close to one another can help this life-style. However in instances the place the 2 households are far aside, celebrating solely on the spouse’s aspect shouldn’t be so affordable.
“Everybody needs their kids and grandchildren to reunite on this event, so they need to plan fastidiously in order that each households are joyful,” stated Nga.
The professional added that for the eldest daughters, even when their husbands’ mother and father help them in returning to their household for Tet, they may seemingly be judged by their husband’s family members and acquaintances. As such, husbands ought to assume for each their wives and their very own mother and father.
After three years of celebrating Tet at her household’s home, Thai Ha, 46 years outdated, in Nghe An, stated that though she was joyful, she was usually criticized by neighbors in addition to her husband’s sisters.
She and her husband obtained married in 2000. For 20 years, she stayed at her husband’s home to maintain the desk, cooking, and cleansing. Her husband is a border guard stationed greater than 200 km from residence, so some years he does not come again, and generally he comes residence solely on the first or 2nd.
In 2021, understanding that her mom’s well being within the countryside was unstable, her parents-in-law instructed going again to her mother and father extra usually and staying again to maintain her mother throughout Tet.
“Beforehand, my husband’s mother and father had been very strict. Throughout Tet, daughters-in-law had to stick with their husbands to offer choices to their ancestors. However over the previous few years, I’ve been in a position to return to my mom, and I’m very grateful,” Ha stated.